“Becoming…”

Ninety9.zero is borne from a path of making a conscious choice to explore the interior of who and what I am. This STILL requires great courage and determination to consistently focus on mind, body, and spirt for a higher purpose, to be my Devine self, to be present for myself and for others.

The process has taken me from a state of knowing something just isn’t right and moving to consciously finding a place of release and acceptance, abandoning and releasing the things I am unable to control (on most days!); and telling truths to myself, the good ones and the very hard ones. To say it has been difficult is an understatement. It has required a conviction that “stepping towards” will realise an acceptance of my imperfections, bring clarity, create connectedness, remove scarcity, release anger, heal pain and trauma, bring happiness and joy, in mind, in spirit and in my body.

For each of us, how we perceive ourselves in our world, is our reality. Yes, informed, and darned together by all our experiences the ones that fill our hearts and bring immense joy but also those that bring grief, pain and the tears, and those real ugly cries.

Until recently, I considered myself a conscious observer, on the side, quiet, only sharing and showing up in a way I deemed would be acceptable to others. The surface, polite stuff despite my humour occasionally catching bad timing and finding myself on the wrong side of the laugh!

As I move forward into discovering more of my true self, I have recognized an opportunity to share my experiences (which may resonate with others) by offering support, where a space can be held in non-judgement for others, to come just as they are…

Welcome to Ninety9.zero!

“I am…”

"I AM..."

After a late diagnosis of type 2 diabetes, professional stress, experiencing the greatest loss in my life, grief, developing depression (as a result of trauma and emotional exhaustion) and recovering, I just kept diving straight back into the autopilot of my life.

All things considered I believed I was managing pretty well…. I constantly reminded myself with gratitude, despite all, I had a full abundant life. I am a “the glass is half full” kinda girl after all!

But by the time 2016 rolled in, the voice that was just a quiet whisper of discomfort for a really long time, became a bellowing conviction that something needed to change. I needed to take a leap of faith of sorts, for my health, for my wellbeing, for my family. I also knew my life’s work would change, require a deeper meaning. I wanted to help others. I knew I was required to pay attention to my body. Although there was much at the time that felt like sitting in mud, this sense of “knowing” would become part of my journey to healing, transformation, and wellness.

Its been a slow process that has required focus emotionally, spiritually, physically and cognitively.

The path that has lead to discovery has been sometimes painful, but mostly very hopeful, positive, and transformative:

· I am in the present moment and I look forward.

· I am enough.

· I accept that life happens, and its ok to let go.

· I have learnt the importance of self-care and what that means for me.

· I have accepted my body as part of who I am, and not as separate to who I am.

· I have deepened understanding of my triggers, how my emotions, life circumstance’s, stress and support all have an influence on the management of my type2 diabetes.

· I have discovered and understood my familial predisposition to diabetes.

· I am changing the conversations I have with myself from how can I control this, why can’t I control this? To how can I manage this differently, what are my choices?

· I do the best I can…. its ok to have a bad day, a high reading, a not-so-great eating day.

· I am see the possibility that I can live with my diabetes in a different way.

· I continue to connect and listen to my body in a way that I have never done before.

· I have found practices that support me in my diabetes management.

· I am learning to share and give voice to my disease. I understand if I don’t inform and educate those that I trust and who are closest to me they are unable to support me in my journey.

· I AM GENTLE with myself emotionally and physically.

Along with my support team, I have experienced a safe space – a space of non-judgement. THIS is what we aim to be for you, our client. Why not contact me for an initial chat and see where this journey takes us.

I invite you into my safe space.

“Love lives here…”

Love lives here

My story has taken me into the crevices of the beliefs I have carried of myself and admittedly of what I believed others had of me. And these insights took place with my coach, my therapist, during those long seafront walks I love so much and sometimes in my skanky pjs on the couch, gazing out the window in dead silence, while the hamster was furiously running on her treadmill!

One of my great painful revelations is that I had divorced my body, denounced her, and relegated her to the status of person no gratis. What everyone else saw however, was her showing up, dressed up, confident and ready to face the world!

I can’t tell you when it happened, but what I can tell you for sure is that I had become the master of ignoring her and protecting her all at the same time! It took quite a while to process, understand, find a place of acceptance, acknowledgement for what she is able/enables me to achieve every single day. To build a bridge, a relationship of trust and above all to find a place of wholehearted love.

Fast forward, here I am. I am happy. I am fit. I am strong. And yes, I have lost a lot of weight, which I know could never have happened for me without first working on myself from the inside !

The day I could see double digits on the scale was utter disbelief, celebration but disbelief, and since so many more learnings have taken place.

I feel like I have only just started and what better time than the present.

I welcome the opportunity to hear your stories and to share a few of mine which has brought me to this place. Love lives here…

Welcome to Ninety9.zero!